so don’t get depressed, but the concept is finding love from suicide. or that love prevails even suicide (hopefully the message i can portray). setting, high school, guy in senior or junior year. girl junior. so we have a suicidal guy. he’s depressed and hung up about life and how he hates it and how it’s unfair. yes he is quite the emo. he’s had the thought for a good year. something’s been holding him back. not fear of dying, but fear of not accomplishing one thing in his life. answer, love. he never experienced falling in love or being in a relationship. he uses this to keep himself socially bond to life (staying alive)-the one reason to live. however the times alone and wasting away with self-hate keeps urging him. he’s sits outside, maybe on the bleachers or from a lower window/roof area looking out into the school field, thinking-what he does constantly about life. idk what kind of life story to portray if any, but ye he’s a pessimist, introvert, that sort. then a girl, kind of like the odd ball, comes and sits next to him saying what’re you thinking bout?
so the thing is. he somehow finds himself opening up to her and getting his feeling out that he’s been keeping to himself this whole time. and she listens. in fact shes like really into it. she laughs at some of his reasons and views in a friendly way, like in agreement and sympathizes and connects with him. she feels sorry for him and for the future. she feels he is right, that his thoughts arent bs. so it gets a little serious. he’s determined to do it and tells her. she says if that’s how you truly feel i won’t stop you.. but i do wish you’d reconsider. you said yourself that you feel like you have nothing to live for. jumble thoughts, need to work on it so it works. i don’t want to portray the actual doing, but more of a self defeated person. that’s what i wanted to show from the start. idk if me saying the word would be good.. hmm. like i want to show that yes it is a touchy subject. but it shouldnt be something thought about in the moment kind of thing. i heard that people do this without careful thinking which i found unbelievable.
i thought that if one would they would think about it for awhile before deciding like my character. not because they failed, couldn’t live to expectations, or have nothing, but rather because they cannot fit in with society (able to socialize, have strong friendships, be motivated to succeed in life, move onto college) and so find it reasonable to not exist in this society where they feel they are not needed, never the less find like anyone would even realize they even existed in the first place (besides family ofcourse). whats the point of living life if no one will remember you, if you’re a nobody. the tale of bewulf and tales ares past down from generation to generation. they tell the tales of people and these men (or women) are remembered through these tales. in today’s society who remembers the poor or the loners. no one because no one cares about them and because they have no one. it is kind of the same concept to my character. he feels alone in the world, no one understands him. this is why he has no close friends. no friends who call him or txt him to do things or hang with. he is expendable. he is unimportant in society, at least he feels this way. why compete when there is someone better than you, smarter, faster.
so basically at the end, or climax? he wakes up preparing for his day. writes a not the night before. maybe some blogs or thoughts he’s had on wordpad he prints to make like a self book. hopefully he believes that this book becomes a hit and he gets famous in some way. because most famous people in the past became famous after death. that it would be an eye opener in this new society of defeated souls. so he wakes up, but from a dream. hmm i’ll simplify. he dreams of dying, but it turned out it wasn’t him. first person view to third later in the dream. he sees through the eyes of the girl. he wakes up in sweat and quickness to be at the place. it hit him that she too was suicidal. and in her meeting him they had become mutual friends. but the talking seemed to give her reason to finally do it as well. why, she seemed so interested, why she agreed. because she was like me. he then remembers the times people talked behind her back. how she was a loser, a weirdo. how (example) her parents abandoned her (reason) and no one liked her. she was going to take his plan to effect. (idk the plan to do it. stupid to just die, might as die with a bang, bigger picture, eye opener)
so he’s there. and shes at the ledge. she says so you finally got it? or something like surprised to see you here so early. he goes, wait don’t do this. her, why? you said it yourself. this society will only take advantage of us. or what’s the point if no one loves you. him, then i’ll love you. and you can love me. isn’t that what you’ll been waiting for too. she looks back, maybe a tear after hearing that. for she did fall in love with him and his beliefs/thoughts on life, how surreal it was though defeat as it was, unsuspecting him to say such words. him, we both want love, a reason to life and experience the world. why can’t we be there for each other. i see now that i was selfish in wanting to end my life, but with you, i see myself hopeful. don’t do it.. i need you. she steps back from the ledge and replys “i need you too”. -whether it is love or not, the two need each other. a reason to try at life. to support each other and be there for each other. may it be friendship or love. we all need someone in our lives. sometimes feeling alone, can be the end of us (metaphorically). we lose hope, motivation, focus, goals, priorities. there is no one to keep us on track. and the only thing we have control of becomes our life. idk, personal thought. so ye was thinking bout ending the movie like that. him placing his hand out and her gently putting her hands into his. him helping her step back from the ledge and both in their new friendship/relationship somewhat awkwardly but feeling safe walking into the building.
it bothers me how i cant think of a title for this. don’t want a cheesy title. i mean we see suicide in indie movies. i saw some in sundance asian indie movies. i mean there was a whole movie about death for crying out loud (chinese? movie “abnormal beauty”). was pretty good, and somewhat artsy. ending took a surprising turn tbh. so i don’t understand why such an idea wouldn’t be a good idea. major not for a major movie screen film a guess but none the less still. there are people who are defeated, and suicide is present. i want to say, find love/friendship. they will be there for you. (why not family? because some people do not have the luxury of being born into loving families, or at the least care to support you->lack of control). i want this to be touchy if people feel it is. i want this also to be romantic. the lines at the end where he talks her out of suicide and also in a way talks it out of his mind, i want that to be one of those memorable movie moments/quoteables (like “you can’t handle the truth”). that is my vision. suicide should not be looked upon so negativity i feel. i find it somewhat romantic when someone is self defeated and lost honestly. why? they become honest, see the ugly in the world, aren’t selfish. there is also a saying in japan called mononoaware. it means seeing beauty in everything and that everything dies. so appreciate the beauty before it dies. very poetic in a way, and simple. idk something i learned from my japanese history class this semester. so death in general shouldn’t be looked so negatively. i mean watch that asian movie. it’ll show you a different perspective. well,… the main character was obsessed with death in begin with but she found some sort of beauty in it. ok i lost my thought…
merry christmas guys!! just came back from church. this reminds me of a story that my priest once shared with us during mass. a girl was helping her grandmother/mother decorate the christmas tree. she asks why the family gives each other presents when it’s the birthday of christ. before her grandmother could respond, she says is it because we’re all jesus? and the grandmother laughs.
we are all god’s children and i guess therefore all of us are jesus. give each other gifts and so to jesus. if no gifts, then show the ones you care how much you do with words. merry christmas n happy holidayss. may it snow damn it! haha just doesn’t feel like christmas…
ye so i’m reading a book for my exam tmrw morning and this movie idea keeps popping up and in fears of forgetting imma just quickly rough it.
opening before credits: man is dreaming of the last incident/break up with girlfriend. he is late 20s or mid 30s. in bed tossing n turning. dream-> she is leaving for plane so she can start her job from promotion on other side of world/country. it’s made established that both lovers will not see each other for 5 years. she will come back and he will wait. the place she will work has no connection, communication (thats preferable, but not realistic) idk she’s in a 3rd party support mission group. idk what else can i say to why she can’t call everyday. trying to think of something old fashioned. idk make it so it sets itself in the time before cell phones n shit??
"taxi’s here, guess i’m off"
"i’ll help you carry your bags" (Don’t go)
"I’ll miss you"
"I’ll miss you too" (Please stay)
"don’t forget to take care of yourself"
"haha, i’ll be fine" (No i won’t)
"I love you"
"I love you too" (I can’t live without you)
so here’s the two converse as he helps her to the taxi. as he says what is expected/needed to say, right after almost clashing (to the audience, the thoughts interrupt the words he says almost instantly). he acts and supports her like he is expected to as a boyfriend/lover, but deep inside he is insecure and lonely and miserable about all this. shows his weakness and dependency on her.
he wakes up in sweat as they kiss good bye. idk he’s shirtless. appeals to girls blahblah. he shifts so he’s sitting on the side of bed, legs hanging/touching floor. role credits, scene of city idk nyc from above sort of deal. music transition as he gets/goes to work. music finishes, he enters into the station of his work. he is a police officer. as he enters, people look up in silence, captain walks in, tells everyone to go back to work. he gets sympathy look as he walks to his desk. captain asks why he’s here. we can sense they are good friends. maybe like a second father figure. man says he’s fine and would rather prefer to work.
so i guess he gets the day off with a push b/c the way i see it is… he goes thru the day doing his normal activities on a free day. as he does, he constantly is remembered of moments with his girlfriend. ie. enters coffee shop and sees a couple arguing. then remembers a moment they had drinking coffee and arguing and then ending it in a cute way like he fingers some whip cream from his latte and puts it on her or his nose to break the tension and says i’m sorry in a cute way. idk example. this goes on thru the day. he gets calls from friends and family asking if he is fine and if he needs someone to talk to that they are there for him. he just wants to be left alone. he does not respond to any, if anything picks up the call by his mom or sister. (idk when tf this should set. cell phones…)
towards the end of the movie, we see him turn the tv on, puts music on (turns on noise to try to cloud his thoughts), and reach for pills. it is suggested that he might overdose as he pours the whole bottle into his hand then reaching for a glass of water on the table. then a flashback. her saying “someone (i forgot who) once said that suicide is the devil’s invitation to hell.” dont ever think of it k? and him saying you are an angel, ull return back to heaven. i wouldnt, cause itd be 100% chance we’ll never be together. yadayada im lost in thought, jumble thoughts, im not thinking bout this atm. then he says if u do end up in hell. i’ll cut of my wings to be with you. yadayada ye so he throws the pills to the floor, dramatic slow motion as he throws the cup. tv turns to news about yesterday evening/this morning. news: plane crashes in sea, from motor problems/tech difficulties or collision with birds.. everything stops. it is the first time today that he actually heard words like “plane, crash, died”. time freezes. flashback of them spooning in couch or bed. smiling and talking. “i love u” “i love u too” “i wish we’re always together” “i can’t imagine myself anywhere else” yadayada the convos can change n are not set in stone im just writing down scenes rly.. damn it i gots to read damnnnn.
i want this to be as shocking as possible to the audience. i want to try to make it so she broke up or she stopped calling or something not hint that she died. he screams/goes into a state of insanity. looks to the sky and yells at God. why? why!?
next scene is him in front of his lover’s grave. its dark nothing can be seen. he fixes his hair and remains calm and subtle. he drops to his knees and puts flowers down on the alrdy numerous placed ornaments there. he smiles. i’ll wait. 5, 10, 60 years. i’ll wait for you. if only u didnt say that stupid stuff about suicide.. i wish you didnt leave me..i couldnt bare the thought of being separated from u for 5 yrs…haha…now it’ll haunt me for life..im sorry. he weeps until he passes out.
idk why i thought of this. the intro is definitely what i want. i think its original way to start a tragic love story of a movie. the ending is a later thought n so not so formulated/defined by me. (i dont like it as much). still in works. ending is too sappy but. maybe hit the audience when he goes to grave than news on tv. maybe foreshadow images of plane crash on muted?.
idea is wait. how long would one wait for their love. ye we are humans and should move on (Mr. Monk). but idk..
i could make his use as an officer to “investigate” what happened. all set up. so it becomes like love/action. it depends. as specific as the scenes are in my head. the direction is endless. i could also do like an anime take. at the grave site, maybe she appears to him (just blinks in and appears out of thin air). or he’s at work and driving on the bridge and swears he saw her walking along the bridge on the bike path. or he’s chasing after a figure who thru the smoke from a car accident looks like his love and then she jumps off a bridge (3rd senario example, yes bridges, idk) and he looks to the side to see no one. i could play with this idea as much as i want lol. ye idk where i come up w/ these ideas but i think they have potential. jotting on jot.
setting: college (Rutgers lol…), dorms-doubles, mixed
The movie is seen through the eyes of a college student. either sophomore or junior. He is the type of kid who stays in his room and does his own thing, mostly gaming, watching tv, internet. I’m not saying he is anti-social or anything. He is the shy around people type of person. He is caring and few know this because on first introductions people see him to be reserved and quiet. His neighbor is the ideal image of a college student or more accepted type of person-social, either doing a sport or club, and studies and so very busy but on top of his game. He meets a girl (frosh, I want to portray her as naive and able to fall in love quickly whether based on lack of experience, or failed past relationship) at a party the first or second week of college during rushes. Either they end up having sex (either first night or second night together). They agree to a casual sex relationship. He is focused on work and sport/club and does not have time for love. She wants to be loved (again for some reason-lack, bad experience, naive, desire, passion). She starts to fall in love with him through their weekend nightly encounters. The two are aware and he continuously reminds her of the agreement by kicking her out after the deed was done. It is a harsh reality-that is what I want to portray. She is him to be the ideal type of guy who can support her in the future and have a stable relationship with (but that will be a later thought). She loves the sex and sees a possibility with him or wants him, idealizes in him as a boyfriend/relationship status.
This will be the opening, introduction to the movie. Though I do not want to portray sex scenes. I’m pretty sure we each can our own. We have our own thoughts and images of college sex so ye I’m not gonna bother adding it in. It’s not an image I feel is important in the film. Love should not be revolved around sex. The scenes that make up the movie will be the scenes before she enters and leaves after having sex. Every weekend, she would see the guys neighbor (ok so maybe also in the eyes of her the movie will be told). She always some how bumps into him, whether on the elevator, stairs, he goes to bathroom/shower, eat. She sees him to be an emo sort of kid who just wastes time in his room playing games and has no social life. After 3-5? weeks of encounters, it’s pretty obvious she is there to have sex and he knows it (maybe puts on headphones in a short scene to show it’s going on next door), and she knows he is aware of the situation and doesn’t think anything of the situation. They develop a mutual bond.
Then after the 3rd o-r 6th nigh. She cries outside softly after having sex. She realizes she is in a loveless relationship. She loves having the passion and comfort of another but is then reminded after she leaves that it is temporary and that she is alone again. (Maybe study guy isn’t aware because he does not care or falls asleep. It is unimportant to me. It is for the audience to decide and care). The gamer guy hears the crying, somehow through his music/headphones. He opens the door and sees her. She looks back, then continues to sob. He closes the door. She sobs a bit more. He opens the door and offers his blanket. She takes it, stops to think of words to say, and says can I sleep inside? its late and i dont want to sleep on the couch (something along those lines. she lives on a different campus, or nearby school?). He closes the door. She softly sobs again. (not like i’m in a mess wailing sobs; more like to yourself, heh look at myself, your sick, an idiot/mess, i hate my life kind of soft sob. In denial, tears dropping but not crying sort of sobs, some crazy to the mix of emotions. A minute later he opens the door and goes back into his room. He leaves the door open for her to come in. She looks at his response, weakly smiles and enters closing the door. He says she can use his roommates bed since he goes home on weekends, just put my blanket on top and i’ll give you a sheet to keep yourself warm (all this said/done without words would be ideal). He puts spare pjs and a pair of new briefs in a medium mistaken bought for her to wear if she decides to take a shower is the indication. (rutgers has boys bathroom on one side of floor and girls bathroom on other side. depending on dorm.) He does not hate his neighbor or pities the girl. He simply doesnt want to see her cry. Sometime about hearing her cry eats him up. He goes back to gaming or watching TV. She trusted him enough for him not to take advantage of her. whether it’s because she believed him to be a loser or to be caring. She trusted him and he does, not take advantage of her. He feels sorry for her, almost pity, but tries not to be so demeaning.
Slowly these two develop a bond. It almost becomes like a ritual to hang after shes done her business. They develop a friendship. She starts to play games with him. cod? lol He listens to her (problems/feelings/life). They begin developing interests in each other as friends, someone to turn to. They each see each others flaws and begin to accept them. Their pre accusations change/become useless and disappear. She is flawed. She wants love even if it is temporary. She does not want to be alone even if it is for a second. She could start a new, different relationship with another guy, but she see sports guy to be potential and so continues to be with him even if he does not love her back. His flaws are that he lacks experience socially. He has a hard time talking to people. Always feeling that conversations would end because he could not keep them going or interesting. Being shy around people and nervous especially around girls. Possibly never even being in a relationship. so he sticks to what he knows best and capable-playing games even at times when he is lonely and want to be in social environments. Every one has flaws, despite them being easily fix or not. that is what makes us human. I want these characters to relate with the audience, weak but honest-weakness that should not be hidden or ridiculed.
They begin to get intimate but never establish to each other of being in a relationship, so still friends but closer. She stops sleeping with the other dude. The feeling is mutual I guess between the two. They two finally have something. She finally has someone who loves her and cares about her and gets the attention shes longed for. He has someone who will give him support and company, someone to be comfortable with and not have it be awkward or be nervous around.
The plot hits its climax/thickens when the sport guys expresses his feelings. and at the worst time too! lol The two never really expressed how they felt about each other and how they love each other even though it can be seen. It was never defined/said and so sport guy has every right to confess his feelings at this time. I mean the girl and gamer guy never kissed, held hands, slept together. He says that he was wrong and misses what the two had and wants to actually get into a relationship with her. Her decision ultimately leads to the ending of the movie.
what that ending is i dont not know yet. I do not want expressed jealousy or physical outburst in the form of punching. this shows that he who punched is wrong, the bad guy. i feel there is no clear bad guy in today’s society nowadays. life is confusing. we do not know what we want until we lose it. The sport dude didn’t know he had it good until she stopped visiting. (yes it was her visiting. he thought it was a one night thing. she suggests to a more casual thing). If she picks the sports guy, she will realize that she made a mistake and regret. my ideas and choices of direction ends here at the moment. my friend suggests they meet up in the future, which i liked very much. i don’t want to fall into the cliches. and if it does i want it to be expressed in my way.
i feel like she wouldnt deny the sports guy. i feel like a lot of girls would pick the guy who can support them in the future, im being realistic. and the gamer dude would let it happen because of his personality. he wants love, but would rather want the girl to be happy in the end. a trait of chivalry that rarely is seen today or even exits and if so is ridiculed or something “from the books and movies”. I find that despicable. They make it into this “grown up fairy tale” of sorts.
not yet revised: the college type movies these days are revolved around comedy, talks about the transition to high school to college, sex/getting laid, drugs-ie. superbad, pineapple express, accepted, etc. ye theyre good and funny. realistic, maybe. i want think there should be a movie with some morales like chivalry that no longer really exists. like trust-in the movie the guy does not take advantage of a girl already lost in her ideals and sorrow. or friendship-building friendship from essentially nothing. time-to build a relationship, get to know each other. flaws-recognizing flaws, being a bit more realistic. not everyday does something happen to a person, and if everyday something does happen to you, then congrats. i wish my life was something like that, adventurous, fun but i kind of seem to be by myself. loneliness-we all come by it, i want a movie that can portray it in the most sad way possible but at the same time able to create a love story. love doesn’t have to be dramatic like the notebook, which i didn’t really get, probably because i hold some traditional asian traits. i’m not saying it was bad. one i should see it again, cause i forgot it. two a lot of girls cried, i didnt understand why. why? because he visits the one who he loves so dearly and retells a story that she forgets because of he old age? (that’s right? right?). its too mushy. its something NOT of my age. why the hell should i care bout it if it doesnt relate to me. this is what im stressing. chivalry died partly because people believe it only to be in the movies, something only from movies. an older version of a fairy tale. a grown up fairy tale. why should i cry when two old people cant be in love. i think it sad when two younger people, my age, cant fall in love/be together. one it relates to me more. two i too want to be in love. it’s as simple as that. i feel like there is no real college love story movie. this is an idea from my head. i thnk a lot. please feel free to reply.
At the night of our date, I noticed it I question myself in the mirror A white coat, a glum look on my face Am I really looking forward to it? Unable to get a taxi I hurried Along the highway
I don’t have an umbrella That happens a lot On that Christmas Eve I walked and got soaking wet I can’t blame this on anyone It’s a story I painted myself I just want a tiny flicker of happiness You won’t come… I know that Silent night
I don’t get along with overly punctual people Memories that I continue to lose float through my mind I can never get rid of the past Never regret things I’m not special Because even if I do things over and over I still get lost in the same place
Stop lying that you’re not lying There are times When I don’t know the truth I am used to getting hurt Inconsistencies? I accepted all of them I didn’t have the courage to destroy everything You won’t come… I’m all alone Silent night
I dreamt of a future lined up In the display window Like I did in those days
I was attracted To flickering candlelight This is goodbye, isn’t it?
When this rain Turns in powdered snow And silently Embraces sadness I will encounter new hope
I always enjoyed Holy Night Adults are a bit lonely So it’s okay to cry My first silent night
me and my sister checked out the japanese winter festival that was held at the busch student center like a week ago. it was cool. small but good. they had a sushi corner, origami corner ^^, kimono corner, quiz corner, music corner, draw you as a manga corner, and yes a fortune corner. so basically there are sticks with labeled fortunes of great fortune, fortune, normal?, misfortune, great misfortune. so we shake the container and there’s a hole so only one stick makes it out. me and my sister both got great misfortune xD.
(Daikyou) Great Misfortune:
Love: Romantic endeavors will not work out the way you had hoped they would, and prospects for new romance will be few and far between. Unfortunately, this is simply not a good year for love. You should work on improving yourself so you can make your romantic situation improve as well
Health: You need to reconsider you lifestyle. Unhealthy choices will start to affect you long-term health. If you do not change your unhealthy habits, it could cause permanent damage. You need to change now! Even if theings seem fine, do not be careless.
Work: Are you certain you are following the right path? Interesting opportunities will not present themselves to you in the near future. If you are currently unhappy with the results of you situation now, why not explore a more dramatic change?
Finances: The upcoming year will be a very difficult one financially. Failing to control your spending could lead to disastrous results. Avoid taking unnecessary risks with you money, even if it means change in your lifestyle. Try to find a different source of income as soon as possible.
ok..first of all, turns out quite some people got great misfortune at the festival. the things flawed! its a fortune but i do see stuff in accordance with me. Two summers ago when I was in Korea me and my friends decided to go to a street fortune teller to kill time. It was interesting. I think she read me, but kind of well as vague as the points were. She read my palm, got the year, month, day, and time of birth and with that the fortune. She said I would graduate on time with maybe an extra year. She stressed not to fall in love. She kind of repeated this to me because I kept insisting if I were to get into a relationship. She said that if I were in one, that it’d only leave me so heart broken that I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything and i guess go into deep depression. I said to just focus on your studies and graduate. She was shocked when she heard my major being sociology (at that moment). She said I would be involved with or liked to travel. She stressed on studying and graduating. That i’m currently in my “bad period”, that is happening earlier than other people, so I guess a early mid-life crisis. She said when I turn 25 something good will happen or I would hit something. That I would marry in my late 30s. She let me ask questions, but I couldn’t think of any on the spot.. damn slowpoke 5 sec later thoughts.. She said if anything, if you don’t listen to my words, exercise. Take better care of your body, teakwondo is not enough. Eat rice, stick with an asian diet and stuff.
ye so health. a lot of people do tell me to exercise. I think I have chicken arms lol.. and I miss running. The speed, the rush, I miss the feeling. Ye sometimes I eat like somewhat expired meats or burnt food out of pity that it’s a waste of food and that an animal would be wasted for nothing. I know that it’s not healthy to do this but I do/did. And sometimes if I wanted quicker ways of dying, I’d eat burnt stuff in chance i’ll get cancer and die. I rarely did this. so yea, change seems to be the overall message in my life.
oh ye. the above (minus the two paragraphs) is a vague explanation of the great misfortune. We also got a personal message. Mine:
A dream you’ll have and be so sad,
Bad luck it will portend;
But disregard the evil sign,
It will come right in the end.
I know this is all for fun and stuff, but I do see ties to my life. And they are two separate fortunes from separate times. I mean to see ties from both is just a wow. I sounds vague, yet it doesn’t. And… I did internet (i know wtf right?) tarot card readings that i posted up and they kind of tie yet again… As vague as all of these may be. They all sort of cross with each other with no conflict. Am I that much of a book? easy to read?